


New message from "Ice Daddies"

by RoyalNerd



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Ace character, Chatting & Messaging, Chris' nudes, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Katsuki Yuuri, Group chat, I named Chris' boyfriend, JJ isn't actually an ass, Multi, No beta no proofread, Nonbinary Character, Other, Past Yuuri/Phichit, Texting, Trans Character, Trans Yuri Plisetsky, Transphobia, Yurio is trans, accidental transphobia, aro character, cause thats what this fandom needs, fight me, more group chat fics, nonbinary characters - Freeform, phichit does not have a daddy kink, this fic is a MESS, when will the daddy kink jokes end, yuuri is genderfluid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-09-18 09:42:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9378956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyalNerd/pseuds/RoyalNerd
Summary: PhichitChu made the groupPhichitChu added YuuriK, Vitya, RussianTiger, Assman, Guang & Leo to the group





	1. Daddy

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely adore group chat fics, and felt a mighty need to write this. 
> 
> Translations will be in the notes at the end

**PhichitChu made the group**

  


**PhichitChu added YuuriK, Vitya, RussianTiger, Assman, Guang & Leo to the group **

  


**PhichitChu’s nickname was set to “Bitch-it”**

  


**Leo:** Whats this 

  


**Bitch-it:**  a group chat 

  


**Leo:**  I know that you moron

**Leo:** I meant why do we have a group chat? 

  


**Bitch-it:**  so we can talk to eachother??????

  


**Guang:** I dont know what you were expecting tbh

  


**Leo:** oh shush you 

  


**YuuriK’s nickname was set to “Piggy”**

  


**Vitya:** Yuri that’s not nice. 

  


**YuuriK’s nickname was set to “Little Katsudon”**

  


**RussianTiger:** youre disgusting. 

**RussianTiger:** also wwhat makes you think that was me 

  


**YuuriK’s nickname was set to “Katsudont”**

  


**Vitya:** you’re the only one was calls Yuuri “piggy” 

  


**RussianTiger:** Отъеби́сь

  


**Vitya:** that’s not a nice thing to say to your father. 

  


**Russian Tiger:** You’re not my father for fucks sake. 

  


**RussianTiger’s nickname was set to “Angst”**

  


**Angst:**  who the fuck 

  


**Vitya’s nickname was set to Daddy**

  


**Bitch-it:** YUURI WAHT THE FUCDK 

  


**Angst:** You disgust me.

  


**Assman:** Oh my, Yuuri! 

  


**Leo:** I’m kinkshaming

  


**Daddy:** It wasn’t Yuuri

**Daddy:** theyre right next to me. 

**Daddy:** Also theyre asleep 

  


**Bitch-it:** then who the fucl? 

  


**Katsudont:** what wasn’t me? 

**Katsudont** : oh

**Katsudont:** OH

**Katsudont:** yeah that definitely wasnt me. 

  


**Bitch-it:** I thought you were sleeping? 

  


**Katsudont:** I was 

**Katsudont** : But SOMEONE was laughing and it woke me up 

  


**Daddy** : sorry :((

  


**Angst:** change your name for fucks sake 

**Angst:** seeing “you got a new message from Daddy” is making me feel sick 

  


**Vitya removed his nickname**

  


**Leo:** seriously tho, who changed it? 

  


**Guang:** he might have changed it himself

  


**Bitch-it:** no, it would have said “Vitya changed his own nickname” this just said that his nickname had been changed. 

  


**Vitya:** you think i changed ti my self? 

**Vitya:** you think id call myself that? 

  


**Guang:** maybe?! IDK

**Guang:** I dont know what u and Yuuri are into. 

  


**Katsudont:** not that. 

**Katsudont:** i cant believe that you all thought im the one who changed it 

**Katsudont:**  why would I set his nickname to that in a group chat? 

  


**Bitch-it:** implying that you’d set it to that in a private chat? 

**Bitch-it:** ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

  


**Katsudont:** dont. 

  


**Leo:** I’m kinkshaming Yuuri

  


**Katsudont has left the group**

  


**Bitch-it has added YuuriK to the group**

  


**Bitch-it** : no escape Little Katsudon

  


**YuuriK:** Im not sure who I hate more

**YuuriK:** Myself

**YuuriK:** or you

  


**Leo:** But seriously who changed Viktor’s username? 

**Leo:** My moneys on either Phichit Guang Hong or Chris.

  


**Assman:** rude

  


**Guang:** Um..

**Guang:** Offended?!

  


**Bitch-it:** i feel so attacked rn 

  


**Assman:** Why would you think that I changed it? 

**Assman:** He’s my best friend.

**Assman:** why would I call him that? 

**Assman:** that would be like Phichit calling Yuuri that. 

**Assman:** It’s just wrong

  


**Bitch-it:** ;) ;) ;) 

  


**YuuriK:** Phichit NO 

  


**Bitch-it:** phICHIT YES 

  


**Leo:** what

  


**Assman:** you’re not telling me that you two…

  


**Bitch-it:** ;) ;) ;) ;) 

  


**YuuriK:** ffs Phichit 

  


**Leo:** Wait what?! 

  


**Guang:** Explain. 

  


**YuuriK:** what happens in Detroit stays in Detroit

  


**Assman:** I thought that was vegas

  


**YuuriK:** shhhhh

  


**Bitch-it:** So a few months after we started living together in Detroit we had a bit too much to drink one night and I kissed them and then we ended up datign and the rest is history. 

  


**Assman:** what does this have to do with you calling him daddy tho

  


**YuuriK:** you’d be surprised 

  


**Bitch-it:** *them

  


**Leo:** I swear all I’ve done in this chat is kinkshame Yuuri. 

  
  


**YuuriK:** What? WHy mwe?

**YuuriK:** I didnt change Vitya’s name. And It’s Phichit who said it in Detroit.

**YuuriK:** why am I the one getting kinkshamed?! 

  


**Bitch-it:** I will say, when I said it in Detroit I was joking and they did hit me in the arm and refuse to talk to me for the rest of the night 

**Bitch-it:** I do not have a daddy kink. 

  


**Vitya:** I reopen the chat and the first thing I see is “I do not have a daddy kink.” 

**Vitya:** why

  


**Assman:** scroll up 

  


**yuuriK:** oh no

  


**Leo:** Wait

**Leo:** Phichit

**Leo:** youre not old enough to drink now. 

**Leo:** how were you drinking when you first came out here?? 

  


**Bitch-it:** ;) ;) ;) 

**Bitch-it:**  I have my ways

  


**YuuriK:** what?  the girl in the dorm next door?

  


**Bitch-it:** ...

**Bitch-it:** yeah...her…tho technically it was the other girls bf who was getting it for us. 

**Bitch-it:** what was her name? 

  


**YuuriK:** which one? The one who you talked to or the roomate with the bf?

  


**Bitch-it:** either? 

  


**YuuriK:** the one you spoke to was Nikola and the room mate was Zoey. I think the boyfriend was called Alex

  


**Bitch-it:**  how do you even remember that 

**Bitch-it:** you never spoke to them????

  


**YuuriK:** nikola and zoey were in some of my classes

**YuuriK:** and zoey never shut up about her boyfriend

**YuuriK:** nikola kept trying to talk to me

**YuuriK:** it was always about you too. 

**YuuriK:** she had the biggest crush on you from the moment you walked onto campus. 

  


**Bitch-it:** I think it broke her heart when she found out im gay…

  


**YuuriK:** i think it might have done. 

**YuuriK:** she barely spoke for like a week after you turned her down 

  


**Bitch-it:**  she moved her sights onto you soon enough though

**Bitch-it:**  I can only imagine her reaction to us dating…

  


**Vitya:** I cant believe you lied to me Yuuri! 

  


**YuuriK:** ???

  


**Vitya:** when I first came to Japan

**Vitya:** i asked about your past lovers

**Vitya:** and you said there were none! 

  


**YuuriK:** You asked about past girlfriends! 

**YuuriK:** and Phichit is not a girl

**Yuuri:** as far as im aware

**YuuriK:** and hes the only person I dated before you

**YuuriK:** therefore: I did not lie to you. 

  


**Vitya:**  dont be a smartass

  


**YuuriK:** You love me <3 

  


**Vitya:** you’re right  <3 <3 

  


**Guang:** #relationshipgoals

  


**RussianTiger:** you’re both disgusting 

  


**Vitya:** you love us 

  


**RussianTiger:** Отъеби́сь


	2. Ice daddies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Assman set the group name to “Ice Daddies”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I named Chris's mystery man cause I felt wrong just refering tho him as "chris's boyfriend" so in this he's called Matteo (I googled Swiss mens names and that was the one that caught my eye)

**Bitch-it:**  I feel liek we need a group name...it feels wrong without one

 

 **Leo:** Liek

 

 **Assman** set the group name to **“Ice Daddies”**

 

 **RussianTiger** : Why

 

 **Guang:** ^seconded

 

 **Assman:**  apparently we needed a name...

 

 **Bitch-it:** I tried to change it but apparently we’re not allowed to change it for another 24 hours or smn?

 

 **RussianTiger:** I hate this chat

 

**RussianTiger has left the group**

 

 **Bitch-it** added **RussianTiger** to the group

 

 **RussianTiger:** fuck off!

 

**RussianTiger left the group**

 

 **YuuriK:** why is the chat suddenly called Ice Daddies?

 **YuuriK:** and where did Yuri go?

 

 **Bitch-it:** ask Chris

 

 **Assman:** not even sorry

 

 **YuuriK:** of course it was you who chnaged it

 

**YuuriK added RussianTiger to Ice Daddies**

 

 **RussianTiger:** Let me go omg

 

**Bitch-it added TheKing and SeungGil**

 

 **RussianTiger:** is that who I think it is?

 

 **SeungGil:** Why am I here?

 **SeungGil:** And why is this group called Ice Daddies?

 

 **TheKing:**  It’s me!

 **TheKing:** The King!

 

 **RussianTiger:** I’m leaving

 **RussianTiger:** if thats who i think it is im out.

 

**RussianTiger’s nickname was set to #angst**

 

 **#angst:** who the fuck

 

 **Assman:** hey it was Phichit;s idea!

 **Assman:** (sent an image)

 **Assman:** wait no shit

 

 **Bitch-it:** no I said we needed a group namWHAT THE HELL

 

 **Guang:** of course I come online just in time to see chris’s nudes.

 

 **YuuriK:** CHRIS WHAT THE HELL

 

 **Leo:** there are children here Chris wtf

 

**#angst has left Ice Daddies**

 

 **Leo:** apparently not anymore.

 

 **Bitch-it:** …

 **Bitch-it** : Chris Why

 

 **Assman:** wrong chat?

 

 

**Assman’s nickname has been changed to “Please stop.”**

 

 **Vitya:** omg Chris

 **Vitya:** Who were you even sending them to

 **Vitya:** or should I say, trying to

 

 **Please stop:** You ;)

 

 **YuuriK:** …

 

 **Vitya:** o

 

**Bitch-it has added RussianTiger to Ice Daddies**

 

**RussianTiger’s nickname has been set to #edgelord**

 

 **Bitch-it:** no escape Yurio

 

 **#edgelord:** Phichit I swear to god.

 **#edgelord:** If you call me that one more time is2g ill slit your throat with your own skate.

 

 **Guang:** WELP

 

 **TheKing:** Sounds like someones on their period lmao

 

**#edgelord has left the chat**

 

 **Leo:** omg JJ

 

 **YuuriK:** not funny JJ.

 

 **Guang:** what an ass

 

 **TheKing:** what did I say?

 

**TheKing has been removed from the group**

 

**[Private message**

**YuuriK & RussianTiger]**

 

 **YuuriK:** Yuri? Are you okay

 

 **RussianTiger:**  Leave me alone

 

 **YuuriK:** Okay. Im sorry he said that, if you need to vent about him Im here and I’ll listen.

 **YuuriK:** Hes been kicked from the group too, so when you want to rejoin just message me and I’ll add you back

 

 **RussianTiger:** …

 **RussianTiger:** Thank you

 

 **YuuriK:** It’s no problem

 

**[main chat]**

 

 **Leo:**  I can;t belive JJ said that

 

 **Guang:** Right?! He’s such an ass

 

 **Bitch-it:** as pissed off as I am with JJ...my biggest question right now is

 **Bitch-it:** why is Chris sending his nudes to Viktor?

 

 **Please stop.:** cause we’re secretly married and I miss him

 **Please stop.:** ;) ;) ;)

 

 **Bitch-it:** well someone has some explaining to do

 

 **YuuriK:**...

 

 **Vitya:** Chris.

 

 **Please stop.:** okay fine

 **Please stop.:** it was meant  for matteo but I clicked the wrong conversation

 

 **YuuriK:** and you decided to send it anyway???

 

 **Please stop.:**  NO!

 **Please stop.:** I realised that I messed up after I’d clicked send.

 **Please stop:** it was an honest mistake

 

 **Bitch-it:** hmm...suuure.

 

 **Please stop.:**  do you really think that I would deliberately send pictures like that to a group chat?

 

 **Bitch-it:** yes

 

 **Guang:** yes

 

 **Leo:** yes

 

 **Vitya:** wouldnt be the first time

 

 **Please stop.:** wow rude

 

**[Private message-**

**TheKing and YuuriK]**

 

 **TheKing** : What did I say?

 **TheKing:** Why have I been kicked from the group

 **TheKIng:** I don’t understand

 

 **YuuriK:** I understand that you dont like him and you just trying to be funny,

 **YuuriK:** and make a joke at his expense

 **YuuriK:** but don’t joke about that

 **YuuriK:** it’s too far.

 **YuuriK:** and not funny at all.

 

 **TheKing:** about what?

 

 **YuuriK:** about im being on his period??

 **YuuriK:** it’s a sensitive subject for him

 

 **TheKing:** i dont understand

 

 **YuuriK:** you don;t know?

 

 **TheKing:** know what?

 

 **YuuriK:** if you don’t know its not my place to tell you.

 **YuuriK:** just dont make that sort of joke about him anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JJ isn't being deliberately transphobic, he genuinely doesn't know that Yurio is trans. Originally I think I was going to have him being a dick, but I started writing this chapter when I didn't like him but now I love him so I will defend him. He isn't trying to be an ass, he's just trying to be funny. I'm sorry. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also I feel bad...I feel like I'm neglecting Guang Hong. 
> 
> If anyone has any nickname suggestions or scenarios they'd like to see please let me know and I'll do my best to incorporate them!


	3. a surprising lack of teenage angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Assman: those two are probably the 2nd most obvious couple in this chat
> 
> Assman: the first obviously being Yuuri and Viktor
> 
>  
> 
> Vitya: hey!
> 
> Vitya: we’re not obvious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing purely dialogue for so many characters is a pain in the ass... I have so much respect for the other group chat fanfic writers in this fandom

**Leo:** has JJ messaged anyone else asking what he’s done wrong?

 

 **Guang:** yeah..i didnt reply though

 

 **YuuriK:** yeah

 

 **Bitch-it:** yeah…i didnt either

 **Bitch-it:** either hes an asshole who doesnt see that what he said is wrong, or he genuiniely doesn’t know about Yurio

 

 **Guang:** but i thought its common knowledge..

 **Guang:** between skaters anyway

 

 **Bitch-it:** it kind of is...

 **Bitch-it:** but lets be real when does JJ pay attention to anything other than himself

 

 **YuuriK:** that’s kind of harsh…

 **YuuriK:** I mean true...but still harsh

 **YuuriK:** I spoke to him though and he genuinley seems like he doesnt know…

 **YuuriK:** [sent an image: screen]

 

 **Leo:** so he wasn’t just being an ass…

 **Leo:** well..he was...he just wasnt being a transphobic ass

 

 **Bitch-it:** what do we do now?

  
  


**[Private message**

**YuuriK and RussianTiger]**

**YuuriK:** hey ive spoken to jj

 **YuuriK:** he doesnt know thhat youre trans

 **YuuriK:** he wasnt actually trying to be an ass

 **YuuriK:** I know it still hurts when people make jokes about it, but i just wanted to tell you that he didn’t mean it the way it sounded

 

 **RussianTiger:** thanks

 **RussianTiger:** i guess

 

 **YuuriK:** no problem. We’re all here for you...

 **YuuriK:** do you want me to add you back to the group yet or not?

 

 **RussianTiger:** not yet..

 

 **YuuriK:** okay just tell me when you want adding back

  
  


**[Ice Daddies]**

 

 **YuuriK:** i just spoke to Yurio and told him that jj is actually just a clueless idiot and not a transphobic ass

 **YuuriK:** he doesnt want to be added back for a while just yet though

 

 **Bitch-it:** look at Yuuri being the mom friend and sorting everything out

 

 **YuuriK:** be quiet you

 

 **Bitch-it:** yes mom

 

 **Vitya:** if Yuuri’s your mom does that make me your dad?

 

 **Bitch-it:** sure I guess

 

 **Please stop.:** daddy ;) ;) ;)

 

 **Guang:** NO

 

 **Leo:** No

 

 **Bitch-it:** NO

 

 **YuuriK:** NO

 

 **Vitya:** ;)  

 **YuuriK:** vitya why

 

 **Leo:** im kinkhaming

 

 **Guang:** okay but is nobody gonna comment on the fact that Yuuri just called him vitya?

 

 **Bitch-it:** I WILL CAUSE ITS ADORABLE

 

 **Leo:** im too busy kinkshaming him

 

 **Bitch-it:** i swear thats all youve done in this chat so far

 

 **Leo:** yup

 **Leo:** bc y’all are filthy sinners and need jesus

 **Leo:** or y’know

 **Leo:** a figure from whatever your religion is

 

 **Guang:** aww look at him

 **Guang:** being considerate of other religions

 **Guang:** hes so cute

 

 **Bitch-it:** am i the only single person in this chat wtf

 

 **Leo:** probably

 

 **YuuriK:** wait

 **YuuriK:** you guys are dating?

 **YuuriK:** since when??

 

 **Bitch-it:** wait really

 **Bitch-it:** i wa kidding when i said that

 **Bitch-it:** but youre really dating?!

 

 **Please stop.:** why is this a surprise to anyone

 **Please stop.:** those two are probably the 2nd most obvious couple in this chat

 **Please stop.:** the first obviously being Yuuri and Viktor

 

 **Vitya:** hey!

 **Vitya:** we’re not obvious

 

 **Bitch-it:** …

 

 **Guang:** …

 

 **Leo:** …

 

 **Please stop.:** …

 

 **YuuriK:** Vitya

 **YuuriK:** you kissed me on live tv

 **YuuriK:** you’re constantly touching me

 **YuuriK:** you constantly show your ring off to everyone

 **YuuriK:** and from what Ive heard from other people you’re constantly talking about me to anyone who will listen for long enough

 **YuuriK:** we’re pretty obvious

 

 **Vitya:** :(

 

 **YuuriK:** love you

 

 **Vitya:** :D

 **Vitya:** love you too

 

 **Leo:** it feels weird without Yurio here telling you two that youre being disgusting

 

 **Bitch-it:**  I agree...it feels wrong

 

 **Guang:** ^^

 **Guang:** it must be nice for them to have a “moment” though without some teenage angst ruining it

 

 **YuuriK:** no i agree

 **YuuriK:** it does feel strange without him

 

 **Bitch-it:** you guys are disgusting tho

 **Bitch-it:** disgustingly cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how do end chapters without making it seem forced? 
> 
>  
> 
> the picture Yuuri sent is a screenshot of his conversation with JJ from last chapter


	4. Katsumom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've not updated in forever but I have excuses: 
> 
> 1) i was dying of the plague  
> 2) writers block is a bitch  
> 3) Im a lazy shit 
> 
> please forgive me

**YuuriK:** now that ive thought about it im really not surprised that Leo and GH are dating

 

 **Guang:** why do i feel like i should be insulted?

 

 **YuuriK:**  nonononono

 **YuuriK:** i didn’t mean it as an insult!

 **YuuriK:** i just meant that looking back at when we were in china it was obvious that you two were into each other so its no surprise that youre together.

 **yuuriK:** sorry if i came off as offensive

 

 **Leo:** what do you mean we were obviously into each other in china.

 **Leo:** we were jsut friends then

 

 **Bitch-it:** really?

 **Bitch-it:** could have fooled me

 

 **YuuriK:** and me

 

 **Bitch-it:** you should have seen GH’’s face when he was watching you skate Leo

 **Bitch-it:** he looked so

 

 **Guang:** pls dont

 

 **Bitch-it:** he looked so worried for you

 

 **YuuriK:** i remember that

 **YuuriK:** it was adorable

 

 **Leo:** wait really?

 

 **Guang:** no ignore them

 

 **Bitch-it:** he had his hand up to his mouth and wide eyes the entire time

 **Bitch-it:** he was the perfect example of “supportive worried boyfriend”

 **Bitch-it:** unlike someone i could mention

 

 **Guang:** we werent dating then though

 **Guang:** who arent we mentioning?

 

 **Bitch-it:** dont care

 **Bitch-it:** you were adorable

 **Bitch-it:** and thats not important

 

 **Guang:** you cant just vague post about someoen and not tell us who?!

 **Guang:** thats just not fair

 

 **Bitch-it:** I can and I will

 **Bitch-it:** stop trying to change the subject

 

 **Guang:** Im not! Im just curious

 

 **Leo:** so am i

 

 **Bitch-it:** well i’m not telling

 

 **Leo:** you suck

 

 **Bitch-it:** for the right price

 **Bitch-it:** right Yuuri?

 **Bitch-it:** ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

  


\-----

**[private chat between YuuriK and RussianTiger]**

**RussianTiger:** can you add me back to the chat?

 

 **YuuriK:** no problem :)

 

**[Ice Daddies]**

 

**YuuriK added RussianTiger to the group Ice Daddies**

 

 **Vitya:** excuse you

 **Vitya:** you clearly weren’t treating them properly if you had to pay them

 

 **YuuriK:** please stop

 

 **RussianTiger:** im regretting asking to be added back

 

 **Vitya:** Yurio youre back!

 

 **RussianTiger:** yes and im regretting asking to be added back

 

 **Vitya:** oh please

 **Vitya:** you love us

 

 **RussianTiger:** ew

 

 **YuuriK:** Vitya leave him alone

 

 **Bitch-it:** aww look at little mama katsudon

 

 **RussianTiger:** katsumom

 

 **Bitch-it:** YOURE A GENIUS

 

 **RussianTiger:** wait no fuck

 

**YuuriK’s nickname was set to “Katsumom”**

 

**RussianTiger has left the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

**Bitch-it has added RussianTiger to the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

 **RussianTiger:** i hate everything

 

 **Vitya:** you love us

 

 **RussianTiger:** i repeat

 **RussianTiger:** ew

 

**RussianTiger’s nickname was set to #edgelord**

 

 **#edgelord:** who in the fuck

 

 **Bitch-it:** ;)

 

 **#edgelord:** bitch i will fight

 

 **Bitch-it:** bring it kitty

 

 **Katsumom:** boys please

 **Katsumom:** stop fighting

 

 **Bitch-it:** sorry mom

 

 **#edgelord:** fuck off???

 

 **Vitya:** dont make me ground you young man

**SeungGil has left the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

 **Vitya:** huh

 **Vitya:** i forgot he was here…

 

 **Bitch-it:** yeah so did the author

 

 **Katsumom:** huh?

 

 **Bitch-it:** what?

 

 **Vitya:** what did you mean by that?

 

 **Bitch-it:** by what?

 

 **Katsumom:** the author?

 

 **Bitch-it:**  Yuuri what are you talking about?

 **Bitch-it:** are you okay mom? Do you need a lie down?

 

 **Katsumom:** I will ground you

 

 **Bitch-it:** ooh im so scared

 

 **Katsumom:** no phone for a week

 

 **#edgelord:** how are you gonna do that you moron? He’s in another country?

 

 **Katsumom:** I WILL FLY TO THAILAND FOR A WEEK

 

 **Vitya:** ooh vacation!

 **Vitya:** wait

 **Vitya:** they’re actually looking at flights

 

 **Bitch-it:** MOM NO

 

**Bitch-it’s nickname was set to “Phi-shitting it”**

 

 **Phi-shitting it:** who the hell was that??

 

 **Vitya:** i can hear Yurio giggling to himself from the other end of the hallway

 

 **#edgelord:** EXCUSE YOU

 **#edgelord:** I DO NOT GIGGLE

 **#edgelord:** i cackle

 **Phi-shitting it:** is it me or has Yuuri been strangely silent for a long time?

 

 **Vitya:** yeah theyre doing something on their phone

 

 **#edgelord:** werent they booking flights to Thailand??

 

 **Phi-shitting it:** YOU WERE SERIOUS ABOUT THAT?

 

 **Katsumom:** no

 **Katsumom:** but keep being a little shit and I will.

 

 **Vitya:** so we’re not going on vacation?  

 **Vitya:** :( :( :(

 

 **Katsumom:** just wait until our honeymoon

 

 **Vitya:** :O

 **Vitya:** <3 <3 <3 <3

 

 **#edgelord:** you disgust me

 

 **Katsumom:** wait

 **Katsumom:** that sounded dirtier than I intended

 

 **Phi-shitting it:** ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

 

 **Please stop.:**  ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how do write again?


	5. RaRaRasputin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vitya’s nickname was changed to “RaRaRasputin”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in less than 24 hours of each other what?

  
**Vitya’s nickname was changed to “RaRaRasputin”**

 

**\---**

 

 **Leo:** who…?

 

 **Guang:** my question is why

 

 **Leo:** im assuming whoever it was was listening to that Boney M song…

 **Leo:**  and it reminded them of him?

 **Leo:** but who would be listening to that?

 

 **Please stop.:** Okay but that song is beautiful

 

 **Guang:** was it you?

 

 **Please stop.:** no

 **Please stop.:** I’ve not listened to it in ages

 **Please stop.:**  plus when it was changed I was…

 **Please stop.:** preoccupied…

 

 **#edgelord:** okay ew.

 **#edgelord** : you actually disgust me

 

 **Please stop.:** one day you’ll find someone and you wont be saying that

 

 **#edgelord:** not likely.

 **#edgelord:** im acearo

 

 **Katsumom:** chris please stop harrassing my son

 

 **#edgelord:** for the last time im not your fucking son.

 

 **RaRaRasputin:** that’s not nice.

 **RaRaRasputin:** treat your mother with more respect

 

 **#edgelord:** fuck off?

 

 **Phi-shitting it:** aww such a beautiful family scene!

 

 **#edgelord:** i will cute you

 **#edgelord:** wait no fuck

 **#edgelord:** i will cut you

 

 **Please Stop.:** how does one cute someone?

 

 **#edgelord:** go fuck yourself

 

 **Please Stop.:** why do it myself?

 **Please Stop.:** I have a boyfriend to do that for me

 

**#edgelord has kicked Please Stop. from the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

 **Phi-shitting it:** I'm adding some more people

 

**Phi-shitting it added “Sara” and “Beka”**

 

 **Beka:** ???

 

 **#edgelord:** Beka

 **#edgelord:** leave now while you still can

 

 **Beka:** who...?

 

**#edgelord cleared his nickname**

 

 **RussianTiger:** me

 

 **Beka:** oh okay

 

 **Sara:** Phichit?

 **Sara:** what is this?

 

 **RussianTiger:** hell

 

 **Sara:** sweet

 **Sara:** can I add some more people?

 

 **Leo:** nice of someone to ask before they add new people

 

 **Phi-shitting it:** leo shush

 **Phi-shitting it:** Sara ignore Yurio he’s a filthy liar

 **Phi-shitting it:** this chat is the best

 **Phi-shitting it:** and of course you can add more people

 **Phi-shitting it:** the more the merrier! :D

 

 **Sara:** sweet okay!

 

 **Sara added “** **Милочка” “ Michele” and “Not Pewdipie” to the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

 **Michele:** ??

 

 **Not PewdiePie:** I have no idea whats oing on but HI!

 

 **RussianTiger:** oh fuck is that Mila

 

 **Милочка:** awww

 **Милочкa:** it’s nice to see you again too Yuratchka

 

**RussianTiger has left the conversation**

 

 **Phi-shitting it:** you know you;d have thought he’d have learned by now

 

**Phi-shitting it added RussianTiger to the chat**

 

 **Phi-shitting it:** how many times do I have to tell you

 **Phi-shitting it:** you cant leave!

 

 **Michele:** why is this chat called this?

 

 **Leo:** chris

 

 **Sara:** chris?

 **Sara:** as in christophe giacometti?

 

 **RussianTiger:** unfortunately

 

 **Michele:** Christophe Giacometti is in this chat?

 

 **Leo:** not anymore

 

 **Sara:**???

 

 **RussianTiger:** he was being gross so i kicked him

 

**RaRaRasputin added Assman to the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

 **RussianTiger:** Whyyyyyy

 

 **Мулочка:** who the hell is rararasputin???

 

 **Leo:** viktor

 

 **Мулочка:** okay but why rararasputin?

 

 **Assman:** “russias greatest love machine”

 

 **Leo:** so it was you who set it!

 

 **Assman:** no but i assumed that was the thought process behind it

 

 **RaRaRasputin:** well thats definitely true ;D

 **RaRaRasputin:** right Yuuri?

 

 **Katsumom:** I wouldnt know

 

 **RaRaRasputin:** you hurt me yuuri.

 

 **Katsumom:** i havent slept with the entity of Russia so i dont exaxtly have anythijg to compare???

 

 **Мулочка:** im sure something could be arranged so you have a larger sample size

 

 **RaRaRasputin:** mila i will fight you

 

 **Мулочка:** i wasnt talking about me?!

 **Мулочка** hes not my type anyway

 

 **RussianTiger:** you have a type?

 **RussianTiger:** since when

 

 **Мулочка:** i have a very specific type thank you very much

 

 **RussianTiger:** oh? And whats that

 

**Sara changed her nickname to "Mila's Type"**

 

 **Mila's Type:** ;) 

  
**Not Pewdiepie:** CALLED IT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to stop adding more people to this! Its getting difficult and I'm forgetting people. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thisbis what made me want to write a group chat fic in the first place. Ive changed it around from my original idea a little but I still like it.


	6. The one where the author spent 90% of their time writing this having a breakdown over timezones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Assman: was it you who changed it GH?
> 
>  
> 
> Leo: not likely, it was 4am for him when it changed
> 
> Leo: he was asleep
> 
>  
> 
> Phi-shitting it: have you actually gone and figured out what time it was for everyone?
> 
>  
> 
> Leo: yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God this chapter was a pain in the ass to write 
> 
> Timezones are the bane of my existence
> 
>  
> 
> I edited the end of the last chapter too so go read that!!!

**Leo:** moving on...

**Leo:** Im still confusd about who changed viktors nickname

**Leo:** my money’s on Chris

 

**Mila’s type:** rude 

**Mila’s type:** anyway its getting late, im going to bed

**Mila’s type:** Night! 

 

**Мулочка:** night babe <3 ;*

 

**Mila’s type:** Night  <3 <3 <3 

 

**Мулочка:** I’m also going it’s 1am

 

**Assman:** late?

**Assman:** it’s only 11pm

**Assman:** also Leo 

**Assman:** i already told you

**Assman:** i was busy at the time. 

 

**Мулочка:** timezones exist  фигляр

**Мулочка:** anyway night! 

 

**Assman:** you do know I know what that means right? 

 

**Leo:** what were you doing at 6pm? 

 

**Assman:** matteo 

 

**#edgelord:** can you go one fucking day without being gross fucking hell 

**#edgelord:** its too early to be dealing with your shit

 

**Assman:** I was just answering the question? 

**Assman:** early? What time is it for you

 

**RaRaRasputin:** its 7am we’ve just woken up

 

**Phi-shitting it:** at 6pm? Really Chris? 

**Phi-shitting it:** wait

**Phi-shitting it:** Leo you really figured out what time it was for him when the name was changed? 

 

**Leo:** yes

**Leo:** i want to get to the bottom of this 

**Leo:** it was never discovered who changed his name to daddy in the first chapter and im bitter about that and want to find out who changed it this time 

 

**Phi-shitting it:** first chapter? 

 

**Leo:** what?

 

**Phi-shitting it:** what? 

 

**Assman:** how do we know it wasn;t you who changed it leo? 

 

**Leo:** cause until the name was changed i’d never listened to that song in my life 

 

**Phi-shitting it:** wait really? 

 

**Assman:** how?

 

**Leo:** cause i have good taste? 

 

**Guang:** excuse you that song is amazing! 

 

**Assman:** was it you who changed it GH? 

 

**Leo:** not likely, it was 4am for him when it changed 

**Leo:** he was asleep 

 

**Phi-shitting it:** have you actually gone and figured out what time it was for everyone? 

 

**Leo:** yes

**Leo:** for me it was around noon

**Leo:** for you it was 3am 

**Leo:** i already pointed out that it was 6pm for chris and 4am for Guang 

**Leo:** and for the Katsuki-Nikiforov-Plisestsky family it was 5am 

 

**Phi-shitting it:** thats dedication 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** our family has a long name….

 

**#edgelord:** im not your family fuck off. 

 

**Leo:** damn right its dedication 

**Leo:** im determined to figure this one out. 

 

**Phi-shitting it:** are you filled with determination?

 

**Leo’s nickname was set to “sherlock”**

 

**Phi-shitting it:** before you ask that was me 

 

**#edgelord:** jesus christ phichit

**#edgelord:** an undertale reference? Really? 

 

**Sherlock:** -____- 

 

**Phi-shitting it:** also yes you little shit 

**Phi-shitting it:** that was an undertale reference 

**Phi-shitting it:** fyi I happen ti like undertale 

**Phi-shitting it:** its a good game. 

**Phi-shitting it:** FIGHT ME 

 

**Sherlock:** good god man calm down 

 

**Guang:** wait Viktor did you say its 7am for you? 

**Guang:** doesnt that make it 5 am in Thailand? 

**Guang:** why the hell are you awake Phichit 

 

**Phi-shitting it:** would you beleive me if i said I woke up early for practice?

 

**RaRaRasputin:** no

**RaRaRasputin:** according to Yuuri youre even worse than them in the mornings 

 

**Phi-shitting it:** LIES

**Phi-shitting it:** LIES AND SLANDER 

**Phi-shitting it:** im great in the mornings 

**Phi-shitting it:** speaking of

**Phi-shitting it:** where is Yuuri?

 

**Katsumom:** im here

**Katsumom:** and that is such bullshit phichit

**Katsumom:** i woke up before you most morings

**Katsumom:** and thats saying something 

 

**Assman:** did yuuri just swear???

 

**RaRaRasputin:** they get grumpy in the mornings…

 

**Katsumom:** i only get mad when i get woken up before im ready 

 

**#edgelord:** youre angry most mornings tho…

 

**Katsumom:** doesnt that tell you something then?

 

**Phi-shitting it:** maybe that you should stop stayin up until 2 am then?

 

**Katsumom:** hypocrite much?

**Katsumom:** werent you the one in detroit who would stay up all night then sleep for 2 hours before class started? 

**Katsumom:** and im pretty sure the only reason youre awake now is because you havent slept yet. 

 

**Phi-shitting it:** can neither confirm nor deny

 

**Katsumom:** PHICHIT

 

**Phi-shitting it:** WHAT?! 

 

**Katsumom:** what about practice? 

**Katsumom:** you’re not gonna be able to focus and you’ll end up hurting yourself! 

 

**Phi-shitting it:** its fine

**Phi-shitting it:** celestino has given me today off

**Phi-shitting it:** stop worrying man

 

**Katsumom:** … 

 

**Phi-shitting it:** oh shit sorry… what are you feeling today? 

 

**Katsumom:** would you mind you damn language. There are children in here

**Katsumom:** just kinda….eh today...

 

**#edgelord: “** you”

 

**Phi-shitting it:** the only child in here is Yurio and he swears more than i do. 

 

**#edgelord:** stop fucking calling me that you piece of shit 

 

**Phi-shitting it:** point proven. 

 

**Katsumom:** Yuri watch your language

 

**Sherlock:** any way

**Sherlock:** back to the problem at hoand

**Sherlock:** who changed viktors nickname? 

**Sherlock:** it wasnt me, and chris was...preoccupied at the time 

 

**#edgelord:**  i was sleeping at the time it was like 5am here

 

**Sherlock:** okay so edgelord was sleeping, viktor obviously didn’t change it himself, and I assume Yuuri was asleep too? 

 

**Katsumom:** correct 

 

**Sherlock:** Guang you were asleep right?

 

**Guang:**  it was 4am what do you think? 

 

**Sherlock:** okay grumpy pants 

**Sherlock:** otabek, mila, sara, michele and emil werent in the chat at that point 

**Sherlock:** Seung-Gil had left which only leaves one person. 

 

**Phi-shitting it has left the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

**Sherlock has added PhichitChu to the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

**Sherlock:** what is it you always say 

**Sherlock:** nobody leaves the group? 

 

**PhichitChu:** okay yes fine 

**PhichitChu:** twas i

**PhichitChu:** and I have no regrets 

 

**Guang:** why the hell were you listening to Boney M at 3am? 

 

**Katsumom:** have you met this guy? 

**Katsumom:** listening to boney m at 3am is tame for him

**Katstumom:** that was one of the downsides to having him as a roomate 

**Katsumom:** his terrible taste in music

 

**PhichitChu:** thats rude

 

**Katsumom:** true though

 

**PhichitChu:** well yeah..

**PhichitChu:** still rude 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> фигляр- idiot
> 
> please correct me if im wrong with my russian or my timezones or spelling 
> 
> seriously if you notice any screw ups please let me know. I literally havent bothered proofreading this


	7. In which we fianlly find out who Phichit was vagueing about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Assman: im offended
> 
> Милочка: hi offended
> 
> Mila’s type: oh no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man this chapter was a pain in the ass to write. i'm still not entirely happy with it, but my good friend says that it's "beaut" so im posting it anyway

**Sherlock:** you know what

**Sherlock:** im not content with just finding out who changed Viktors nickname

**Sherlock:** im gonna find out who Phichit was vagueing  about a few chapters ago 

 

**PhichitChu:** good luck cause im not telling 

**PhichitChu:** wait what do you mean chapters?

 

**Sherlock:** huh?

**Sherlock:** chapters? 

 

**Guang:** why does this keep happening? 

 

**Милочка:** what i want to know is why is this group called what it is

 

**Guang:** like someone said before

**Guang:** it was chris

 

**Милочка:** why has no one changed it?

 

**Sherlock:** idk

**Sherlock:** i guess nobody can think of a good name 

 

**#edgelord:** that didnt stop chris 

 

**Assman:** im offended

 

**Милочка:** hi offended

 

**Mila’s type:**  oh no

 

**Милочка:** im dad

 

**Sherlock:** oh no

 

**PhichitChu:** chris no 

 

**Assman:** ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) 

**Assman:** daddy

 

**Assman’s nickname has been set to “ChriSTOPhe”**

 

**Милочка:** are you gonna be daddys good boy? 

 

**#edgelord:** GOODBYE

**#edgelord has left the group ice daddies**

 

**Sherlock:** what the fuck 

 

**Mila’s type cleared her nickname**

 

**Sara:** mila what the hell 

 

**Милочка set her nickname to “Daddy”**

 

**Sara:** im breaking up with you 

 

**Katsumom added RussianTiger to the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

**Katsumom:** this is what I come back to?

**Katsumom:** i was gone for a few hours and this is what i come back to 

 

**Beka:** does this chat ever actually shut up? 

 

**Sherlock:** no

 

**Guang:** no

 

**PhichitChu:** no

 

**Katsumom:** no 

 

**Daddy:** ive been here less than 12 hours and i can tell you no

 

**Sara:**  im guessing we can take that as a no. 

 

**RussianTiger:** i told you to leave before it was too late

**RussianTiger:** but did you listen to me? 

**RussianTiger:** nope. 

 

**PhichitChu:** hon nobody listens to you

**PhichitChu:** youre like 12 

 

**RussianTiger:** BITCH

**RussianTiger:** ILL FIGHT U 

 

**PhichitChu changed his nickname to Bitchit**

 

**Bitchit:** am i supposed to be scared or smn??? 

 

**Katsumom:** Phichit please stop picking fights with my son 

 

**Bitchit:** im the one picking fights?! 

 

**RussianTiger:** IM NOT YOUR SON FOR FUCKS SAKE

 

**Bitchit:** i just told him the truth

 

**Katsumom:** yes you are

 

**Bitchit:** that little shit is the one who said hed fight me! 

 

**RussianTiger:** how is saying that im 12 tellign the truth you dick?! 

 

**Beka has left the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

**RussianTiger:** BEKA

**RussianTiger:** no come back 

 

**RussianTiger added Beka to the group**

 

**Beka:** I thought you told me to leave??

 

**RussianTiger:** yeah that was before you got involved...you cant leave me now. 

 

**Beka:** you know you can leave right?

 

**Katsumom:** hes tried, Phichit always adds him back in, claiming that “nobody leaves the group” 

 

**RussianTiger:** you think i havent tried that beka? They just add me straight back

 

**Beka:** you could block them?

**Beka:** or mute the conversation?

 

**Daddy:** i think he loves us too much to leave 

 

**Sara:** babe youve been here less than 12 hours. You cant say “us”

 

**Bitchit:** why not, youre both part of the group whch means youre part of the “us” 

 

**Daddy:** awwwwwww

**Daddy:** we’re like a big happy family 

 

**RussianTiger has left the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

**Beka left the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

**Daddy has added RussianTiger and Beka to the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

**Daddy:** i think the fuck not. 

**Daddy:** were a family. You cant leave 

 

**RussianTiger:** i think if i was related to any of you i would actually kill myself. 

 

**Katsumom:** aww we love you too Yurio

 

**RussianTiger:** fuck off???

 

**RaRaRasputin:** dont talk to your mother that way 

**RaRaRasputin:**  you little shit. 

 

**RussianTiger:** hes not my mother for fucks sake 

**RussianTiger:** *they’re not

**RussianTiger:** sorry 

 

**Katsumom:** its fine 

 

**Bitchit:** wow yurios being nice for once

 

**RussianTiger:** yeah cause being misgendered sucks and i know how it feels. 

 

**Sherlock:** this has gotten way off track

**Sherlock:** wasnt this chapter supposed to be about me trying to figure out who Phichit was vaguing about a few chapters ago? 

 

**Bitchit:** yeah but the author has ideas for thingswhile theyre writing and gets sidetracked

 

**Daddy:** what are you guys talking about? 

 

**Sherlock:** Phichit was vagueing about someone a while back and I wanna know who

 

**Daddy:** no not that

**Daddy:** the whole chapters and author thing

**Daddy:** tho thanks for clearing that up 

 

**Sherlock:** chapters? Author? 

**Sherlock:** mila what are you talking about? 

 

**Daddy:** you literally just said something about “the author” and “a few chapters ago” 

 

**Guang:** dont worry about it 

**Guang:** it happens sometimes we’ve just kind of gotten used to it 

 

**Daddy:** okay??

 

**Sherlock:** ANYWAY 

**Sherlock:** back to who phichit was vagueing about 

 

**Bitchit:** i told you im not gonna tell you who it was

**Bitchit:** its just someone i know who made his partner cry instead of being supportive thats all. 

 

**[Private message between YuuriK and PhichitChu]**

 

**YuuriK:** youre talking about Vitya arent you 

 

**PhichitChu:** can neither confirm nor deny

 

**YuuriK:** i told you he didnt mean to... 

 

**PhichitChu:** but he still made you cry!

**PhichitChu:** and as your best friend i must defend your honor! 

 

**YuuriK:** what by vagueing about him to our friends in a group chat that he’s in? 

 

**PhichitChu:** yes

 

**YuuriK:** you’re an idiot

**YuuriK:** also what honor 

 

**PhichitChu:** you love me! 

 

**yuuriK:** hmm

 

**[Ice Daddies]**

 

**RussianTiger:** why do you care so much about this? 

 

**Sherlock:** because i must get to the bottom of these things 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** is “these things” another word for Guang hong or…?

 

**Sherlock:** shut up! 

 

**Guang changed his nickname to “these things”**

 

**Sherlock:** i hate you so much 

 

**These things:** you love me 

 

**Sherlock:** no

 

**These things:** :(  </3

 

**Sherlock:** <3 

 

**These things:** :D  <3 <3 <3 

 

**RussianTiger:** will i ever escape couples being gross??? 

 

**Bitchit:** *cute

 

**RussianTiger:** i meant what i said 

 

**Sherlock:** I GOT SIDETRACKED AGAIN 

 

**Bitchit:** surely even you can admit that theyre cute tho Yurio? 

 

**RussianTiger:** stop fucking calling me that 

**RussianTiger:** and no theyre not cute. 

 

**Katsumom:** language Yuri 

 

**RussianTiger:** fuck off??

 

**Sherlock:** does nobody care who Phicit was vaguing about? 

 

**RussianTiger:** not really

 

**These things:** no 

 

**Daddy:** i wasnt even here then so not particularly 

 

**Kastumom:** i already know 

 

**Sherlock:** Tell????

 

**Katsumom:** no 

 

**Sherlock:** why?? 

 

**RussianTiger:** will you tell me? 

 

**Katsumom:** no 

 

**Bitchit:** i thought you didnt care? 

 

**RussianTiger:** i dont but i want to lord over him that i know and he doesnt 

 

**Sherlock:** you said that whoever it was wasnt a supportive boyfriend and made his partner cry. 

 

**Bitchit:** yes 

 

**Sherlock:** youre using gender neutral terming for the person who was made to cry, which narrows it down quite a lot

 

**Bitchit:** you know I do have friends that you guys dont know. 

**Bitchit:** you might not even know who it was i was talking about 

 

**Sherlock:** ah but Yuuri knows who youre talking about. 

 

**Bitchit:** yeah?

 

**Bitchit:** we lived together for 3 years. We’re gonna know some of the same people? 

 

**RussianTiger:** there is a 28 year old manchild pouting in my room. 

**RussianTiger:** remove him before i start removing his limbs. 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** im not pouting 

 

**Katsumom:** you are a manchild though

 

**RussianTiger:** and you are in my room

 

**Sherlock** whys he pouting 

 

**RussianTiger:** cause hes realised that it was him Phichit was vagueing about 

**RussianTiger:** i assume thats what it is anyway

 

**Sherlock** : IT WAS HIM YOU’VE BEEN VAGUEING ABOUT THIS WHOLE TIME 

 

**Bitchit:** …

 

**Sherlock:** how did you figure it out yuri?

 

**RussianTiger:** i didnt 

**RussianTiger:** the idiot has been lurking in the chat for a while and put it together 

**RussianTiger:** then started whining about it to me 

 

**Bitchit:** is he still pouting?

 

**RussianTiger:** hes not in my room anymore

**RussianTiger:** katsudon took him back into their room 

**RussianTiger:** for now i cant hear anything. Im hoping theyre just gonna be talking 

 

**Bitchit** : and if they do more than talking? 

 

**RussianTiger:** at the first sign of them doing anything ovther than talking im packign up and leaving 

**RussianTiger:** the walls here are so thin. Ive heard them going at it far too many times and i really dotn need to hear it ever again. 

 

**Katsumom:** we are just talking...Vitya’s stopped pouting now 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** I WASNT POUTING 

 

**RussianTiger:** yes you were 

 

**Katsumom:** yes you were 

**Katsumom:** and hes pouting again 

**Katsumom: [sent image:** **Viktor sat on the bed with his arms crossed, pouting. Generally looking like a child]**

 

**RaRaRasputin:** BETRAYAL! 

 

**RussianTiger:** WHAT WAS THAT NOISe

**RussianTiger:** WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE 

 

**Sherlock:** whats going on? 

 

**RussianTiger:** I heard a screech and a thud and now I can hear the bed making a weird noise, and katsudon squealing 

 

**[Private chat between RussianTiger and Beka]**

**Russian Tiger:** im coming to Almaty. Be ready for me. 

 

**Beka:** why???

 

**RussianTiger:** look in the main chat 

 

**[Ice Daddies]**

 

**Katsumom:** we werent doing anything! 

**Katsumom:** he was tickling me cause i “betrayed him” 

  
**Beka:** what have I missed, and why is Yuri saying he’s coming to Almaty? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand the daddy jokes have returned. 
> 
>  
> 
> I'm slowly running out of ideas for this fic so if you have anything you want to see please send me them! 
> 
> Im not putting any Otayuri in this fic, they're just good friends. 
> 
> Mila is a little shit I love her so much. 
> 
> Your kudos and comments give me life and motivation to keep writing this stupid fic so please give me them!


	8. There was an actual plan for this chapter but...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> баба: oh my god you two are like chilfren
> 
>  
> 
> RussianTiger: what are chilfren
> 
>  
> 
> баба: be quiet you little gremlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in like 10 years and I apologise! I'm actually shit at updating fics, that's why I tend to stick to one shots. 
> 
> In my defense though I've been ill lately and my mental health has been shit. I'm feeling better now though so I thought I'd probably better update this...

**Daddy:** you know what?

**Daddy:** you know who would make a cute couple?

 

**Bitchit:** do enlighten us

 

**Daddy:** the kitten and otabek. 

 

**Bitchit:** YES

 

**RussianTiger:** hes my best friend? 

 

**Beka:** I’m flattered. But I hate to break it to you, but I’m already in a relationship. 

 

**RussianTiger:** The fuck?

**RussianTiger:** since when?! 

 

**Bitchit:** aww is someone jealous? 

 

**Beka:** For a while now...

 

**RussianTiger:** no

**RussianTiger:** im pissed that he didnt fucking tell me! 

**RussianTiger:** who is it?? 

 

**Daddy:** are you sure youre not jealous котёнок? 

 

**Bitchit:** it does kinda sound like youre jealous 

 

**RussianTiger:** i've said it before and i'll say it again. 

**RussianTiger:** i'm aro. 

 

**Sherlock:**  mila will you change your fucking name 

 

**Katsumom:** LEO 

**Katsumom:** language. 

 

**Sherlock:** sorry mom 

 

**Daddy:** make me 

 

**Beka:** Yura pm me 

 

**Daddy’s nickname was set to “баба”**

 

**баба:** YURA

**Баба:** немного дерьма

 

**RussianTiger:** rude

 

**баба:** so’s calling me a grandmother  you little shit 

**баба:** i wanna add someone

 

**Katsumom:** Mila! language! 

 

**баба:** русский 

 

**баба added “Queen” to the conversation**

 

**Katsumom:** thats not what i meant….

 

**Queen:** whats this? 

 

**Sherlock:** whos this? 

 

**Queen:** i could ask you the same thing. 

 

**Sherlock:** i asked you first 

 

**баба:** oh my god you two are like chilfren 

 

**RussianTiger:** what are chilfren

 

**баба:** be quiet you little gremlin

 

**Queen:** seriously what is this? 

 

**Sherlock:** seriously who are you? 

 

**баба:** oh my god Leo stop it 

 

**Sherlock:** how could you Mila!

**Sherlock:** you gave away my name 

 

**Queen:**  Leo? As in Leo De La Iglesia? 

 

**Sherlock:** yes???

 

**Sherlock:** are you going to tell me who you are? 

 

**Queen:** Isabella Yang

 

**Sherlock:** OH

**Sherlock:** okay 

**Sherlock:** hi 

 

**RussianTiger:** as in the canadian assholes fiance?

 

**Queen:**  I take it this is Yuri Plistetsky? 

 

**RussianTiger:** who else would it be?

 

**Beka:** Yura be nice 

 

**RussianTiger:** no fuck you. 

**RussianTiger:** if anyone says anything I will set them on fire. 

 

**ChriSTOPhe:** ;) ;) ;) ;) 

 

**RussianTiger:** of course it was fuckign you who reacted like that. 

 

**Beka:** Yura 

 

**RussianTiger:** no 

**RussianTiger:** im still mad at you for not telling me that you have a boyfriend

 

**Bitchit:** are you sure youre not jealous? 

 

**RussianTiger:** im sure fuck off 

**RussianTiger:** think about how pissed off youd be if katsudon didnt tell you about their relationship? 

 

**Bitchit:** i mean technically they didn’t 

**Bitchit:** i found out the same way the rest of you peasants did. 

**Bitchit:** but okay I understand you a little more now cause I was pissed when they didn’t tell me. 

 

**RussianTiger:** exactly! 

**RussianTiger:** also rude. Im no peasant, bitch 

 

**Queen:** wait..katsudon? Isnt that food? Im confused. And who are the “they” he keeps talking about? 

 

**ChriSTOPhe:** if I make a comment about eating Yuuri do you think Viktor will try and kill me? 

 

**Katsumom:** me 

**Katsumom:** and yes Chris he will. He’s just seen the message over my shoulder genuinely hissed and is now clinging to me even more than normal. 

 

**Queen:** i dont understand 

**Queen:** this is the other Yuuri now right? 

 

**Katsumom:** correct 

**Katsumom:** Yurio calls me katsudon cause of something that happened when he first came to Japan  that I’d rather not talk about 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** also because he feels weird saying Yuuri’s name what with them sharing a name 

 

**RussianTiger:** no i dont shut up

 

**RaRaRasputin:** also Chris. Make that comment about my fiance and Im flying to Switzerland and shoving that portable pole you own down your throat. 

 

**Sherlock:** WELP

 

**ChriSTOPhe:** well it looks like I’m keeping that comment to myself then 

 

**Sherlock:** I come back online to find Viktor threatening Chris 

**Sherlock:** what the fuck happened in the 15 minutes that I was gone? 

 

**Katsumom:** Langage Leo 

 

**Sherlock:** sorry mom 

 

**Queen:** you guys arent helping me be any less confused. 

**Queen:** why did Leo just call him mom? 

 

**Sherlock:** *them

 

**Queen:** them?

 

**RaRaRasputin:** Yuuri goes by they/them 

 

**RussianTiger:** dont be an ass and respect their pronouns 

 

**Katsumom:** guys its fine, I dont actually mind people calling me he/him 

 

**Queen:** oh I’m sorry Yuuri! I didn’t know .

 

**RussianTiger:** yeah but you’ve said  before that you prefer they/them 

 

**Katsumom:** it’s fine Isabella! 

**Katsumom:** yeah I prefer it, but I dont mind being called it, like some days I dont mind being called she/her

**Katsumom:** pronouns are a pain 

 

**RussianTiger:** I’d agree but I don’t have it nearly as bad as you do. 

 

**Queen:** wait

 

**RussianTiger:** yes?

 

**Queen:** Yuuri’s pronouns change? 

 

**Katsumom:** yeah…

**Katsumom:** I’m genderfluid

 

**RussianTiger:** and if you have a problem with that you’ll have to fight me. 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** and me 

 

**Bitchit:** and me 

 

**Sherlock:** and me 

 

**Katsumom:** guys 

 

**Queen:** nononono

**Queen:** i dont have a problem with it! 

**Queen:** I was just surprised 

**Queen:** I’ve never met another nonbianry person before… 

 

**RussianTiger:** you’re nonbinary? 

 

**Queen:** yeah… I tend to present more femininely, but  I’m not female...not entirely anyway not all the time 

 

**Bitchit:** demigirl? 

 

**Queen:** Ive not thought about it much...I just know that im not female 

 

**Bitchit:** fair enough 

**Bitchit:** also you can addme to the list of trans/nonbinary people you’ve met! 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** and me 

 

**Queen:** wait really? 

 

**RussianTiger:** really viktor? 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** yeah? 

**RaRaRasputin:** Im agender, but prefer presenting masculinely and dont mind he/him or they/them 

 

**RussianTiger:** and you Phichit? 

 

**Bitchit:** im an AFAB demiboy…

 

**RussianTiger:** youre AFAB!? 

 

**Bitchit:** yes? 

 

**RussianTiger:** is there anyone else AFAB in here? 

 

**Katsumom:** I mean you already know about me right? 

 

**RussianTiger:** WTF NO?! 

 

**Katsumom:** Yura you live with me? 

 

**Beka:** he’s not very observant 

 

**RussianTiger:** go fuck yourself Beka 

 

**Katsumom:** Language Yura 

 

**ChriSTOPhe:** he has a boyfriend to do that for him now Yuri 

 

**RussianTiger:** RIGHT

 

**Beka:** not likely…

**Beka:** we’re both ace 

 

**RussianTiger:** now IM coming to switzerland to shove that pole down your throat christophe

 

**Beka:** Yura no!

 

**RussianTiger:** YURA YES 

 

**ChriSTOPhe:** Yuuri, Viktor, please control your son 

 

**Queen:** their son? 

 

**RussianTiger:** THEY ARENT MY PARENTS FOR FUCKS SAKE 

 

**Katsumom:** language Yura 

 

**RussianTiger:** stop that 

 

. **Queen:** there is so much going on and nothing has been explained 

**Queen:** why do people keep calling Yuuri their mom?

 

**Sherlock:** cause they’re the mom friend of the group 

 

**Katsumom:** apparently anyway 

 

**Queen:** okay

**Queen:** why doesnt Yuri like being called their son? 

 

**RussianTiger:** cause theyre no my parents 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** I’d drop it no if i were you Isabella…

 

**Katsumom:** he doesnt like people getting involved in his business…

 

**Queen:** ah okay. Sorry Yuri 

 

**RussianTiger:** im confused. You seem genuinely nice. 

**RussianTiger:** how the fuck are you engaged to jj? 

 

**Queen:** honestly I ask myself that every day 

**Queen:** speaking of my idiot fiance

**Queen:** how come he isnt in here? 

 

**Bitchit:** he was a dick to Yuri a few chapters ago so we kicked him out 

 

**Queen:** ah...that does sound like him 

**Queen:** wait chapters? 

 

**Sherlock:** dont worry about it 

**Sherlock:** its a thing that happens every so often. We just ignore it now. 

 

**Queen:** fair enough? 

 

**Katsumom:** do you think maybe its time to add jj back ?

 

**RussianTiger:** no

 

**Sherlock:** no

 

**RaRaRasputin:** no 

 

**ChriSTOPhe:** no 

 

**Bitchit:** no 

 

**Queen:** no 

 

**Katsumom:** wow okay 

**Katsumom:** even you Isabella? 

  
**Queen:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was an actual plan for this chapter but it just ended up with me flinging trans headcanons at various characters. 
> 
> I feel like I'm gonna get mixed reactions for giving Beka a boyfriend, I know I've already had abuse thrown at me by a friend/beta reader 
> 
>  
> 
> Translations:  
> котёнок- kitten  
> баба- grandmother  
> русский- Russian 
> 
>  
> 
> Comments and kudos give me life and motivate me to continue writing this stupid fic, so if you want more you should do that 
> 
> come scream with me about YOI at HERE< /a >


	9. In which the author remembers there are other characters in this fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Queen: since when is Mila your child?
> 
>  
> 
> Sherlock: dont you know? We’re basically all their children. Yuuri is everyone’s mom. Even yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS BEEN SO LONG OH MY GOD 
> 
> I'm so sorry. 
> 
> I've been working on another fic for a while, it's nearly done so keep an eye out for that. #
> 
> for now though have this trainwreck of a chapter

**Queen:** my fiance is an idiot. 

 

**Katsumom:** I relate 

 

**баба:** literally all of us know that Isabella

**баба:** but what's he done now?

 

**RaRaRasputin:** im hurt Yuuri

 

**RussianTiger:** why theyre right? 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** why must my family bully me like this 

 

**RussianTiger:** ive said it before and ill say it again 

**RussianTiger:** im not our fuckign son

 

**баба:** fuckgn

**бабa:** wait shit

 

**Queen:** our

 

**RussianTiger:** HA

**RussianTiger:** fuck 

 

**Sherlock:**  how come they get to curse but I get yelled at when I do it? 

 

**бабa:** cause we’re the favourite children

 

**RussianTiger:** I was gonna say cause we’re better but i realised that I’d be including mila in that so no. 

**RussianTiger:** i get away with it cause im the best

 

**Queen:** since when is Mila your child? 

 

**Sherlock:** dont you know? We’re basically all their children. Yuuri is everyone’s mom. Even yours 

 

**CriSTOPhe:** considering half of thsi chat is dating eachother thats really disturbing 

 

**RussianTiger:**  thsi

 

**бабa:** thsi

 

**Sherlcock changed “бабa”’s nickname to “Mila”**

 

**Mila:** why? 

 

**Sherlock:** the author doesn’t have a Cyrillic keyboard and having to copy and paste your name every time you sent a message was starting to piss them off

 

**Mila:** fair enough

 

**Katsumom:** language Leo 

 

**Sherlock:** favoritism! 

 

**Mila:** it’s cause im better than you. 

 

**Sherlock:** rude 

 

**ChriSTOPhe:** any way Isabella, why is JJ an idiot? 

**RussianTiger:** cause hes jj? 

 

**Queen:**   oh he’s not done anything. I just wanted to say something I knew we’d all agree on 

 

**Mila:** you do know you’re supposed to actualyl like the person you’re marrying right?#

 

**RussianTiger:**  actualyl

 

**Queen:** I do! I love him. He’s just an idiot. 

 

**Katsumom:** and again I relate. 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** why do you bully me like this Yuuro? 

 

**RussianTiger:** yuuro 

**RussianTiger:** you cant even spell their name right 

**RussianTiger:** NO 

**RussianTiger:** get out of here!

 

**Katsumom:** what’s going on Yura? 

 

**RussianTiger:** your idiot has come into my room pouting again. Remove him. 

 

**Beka:**   and only Yura’s allowed to pout in his room. Right Yura? 

 

**RussianTiger:** right! 

**RussianTiger:** I’m glad someone gets it

**RussianTiger:** wait

**RussianTiger:** what fuck you i dont pout! 

 

**Mila:** yes you do 

 

**Katsumom:** I hate to sy it Yura but you do 

 

**Bitchit:** sy 

 

**Katsumom:** shhh

 

**RussianTiger:** whatever 

**RussianTiger:** just come and get your idiot out of here 

 

**Katsumom:** I’m not at home at the minute though 

 

**ChriSTOPhe:** that explains the pouting 

 

**RussianTiger:** well hurry up and come back and get him out of here 

 

**Bitchit:** you mean you actualyl got him to let go of you long enouigh for you to go out? Wow

 

**Katsumom:** he’s not that bad 

 

**RussianTiger:** yes he is 

**RussianTiger:** are you on your way back yet? 

 

**Katsumom:** no..I’m out with Yuuko. I won’t be too much longer though 

 

**RussianTiger:** ugh 

 

**Katsumom:** sorry 

 

**Queen:** so JJ just saw that I’m in this group and is now asking me to add him  back 

 

**RussianTiger:** NO

 

**Queen:** he’s askign who added me 

**Queen:** i’m sorry Mila 

 

**Mila:** why…? 

 

**Queen:** cause you’re probably going to get spammed by JJ 

 

**Mila:** YOU TOLD HIM? 

 

**Queen:** Im sorry! 

 

**Mila:** i dont know why I’m so worried

**Mila:** he wont be able to spam me anyway 

 

**Queen:** why? 

 

**Mila:** I may have blocked him 

 

**Queen:** when? 

 

**Mila:**   will you be mad if I say a long time ago? 

 

**Queen:** I won’t but he might 

 

**Sara:** Isabella why is JJ sending me a million messages asking to be added to the chat and calling my girlfriend a traitor? 

 

**Mila:** Sara! 

 

**Sara:** yes? 

 

**Mila:** nothing. I’m just happy to see you and wanted to say hi 

 

**Sara:** hi tesoro 

 

**RussianTiger:** disgusting 

 

**Mila:** oh shush you little gremlin. Let me be happy to  talk to my girlfriend 

 

**RussianTiger:** I never said you’re not allowed to be happy 

 

**Mila:** fine. Let me be happy to talk to her without a whiny child telling us we’re gross 

 

**Queen:** jesus Mila 

 

**ChriSTOPhe:** good lord 

 

**Bitchit:** Mila is my new favorite 

**Bitchit:** sorry Yuuri 

 

**Katsumom:** it’s fine 

**Katsumom:** Vitya’s my favorite anyway 

 

**Bitchit:** i’d say rude but he’s been your favorite for as long as ive known you 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

 

**RussianTiger:** why are you all being so gross the fuck 

**Bitchit:** love is a strange thing my friend 

 

**RussianTiger:** eugh 

 

**Sherlock:** again with the letting the kitten curse? 

 

**Katsumom:** have you tried telling him he can’t do something?

 

**Sherlock:** you have a point 

 

**Queen:** where’d Sara and Mila go? 

 

**Sara:** we’re still here...mainly talking in private chat at the minute though 

 

**Queen:** ah okay 

 

**ChriSTOPhe:** where have you been Sara? You’ve not spoken for the last few chapters 

 

**Sara:** I’ve been here...just lurking mostly 

 

**ChriSTOPhe:** speaking of people not talking 

**ChriSTOPhe:** aren’t Michele and Emil in here?

 

**Sara:** they are. 

**Sara:** Mickey muted the chat and Emil just lurks

 

**NotPewDiePie:** I don’t lurk

 

**Mila:**  you said that awfully quickly for someone who doesn’t lurk 

 

**Bitchit:** you know Emil your user name sounds awfully suspicios 

**Bitchit:** are you sure you’re not PewDiePie?

 

**NotPewDiePie:** Im sure 

 

**Bitchit:** are you sure? That sounds like something PewDiePie would say 

 

**NotPewDiePie:** Im not PewDiePie. I don’t get why people say I look like him

 

**Mila:** you do look like him though 

 

**NotPewDiePie:** if you say so 

 

**Mila:** tbh I know where you’re coming from

**Mila:** people tell me I look like Black Widow but I don’t see it 

 

**NotPewDiePie:** yeah but at least she’s hot...Pewds isn’t 

 

**Mila:** I’m blushing Emil, thank you 

 

**Queen:** and if you listen carefully you’ll hear both Crispinos growling in synch 

 

**Michele:** excuse you 

 

**Sara:** back off Emil 

 

**Bitchit:** uh oh

 

**NotPewDiePie:** I didn’t mean it like that! 

 

**Mila:** you dont think i’m hot? Im hurt Emil 

 

**NotPewdiePie:** you’re a very beautiful woman Mila. Thats all im gonna say cause your girlfriend scares me 

 

**Queen:** not he didnt say that Mickey scares him 

 

**Sara:** have you met mickey? 

**Sara:** hes not exactly intimidating 

 

**Michele:** excuse you ?   
  


**Sara:** Mickey I love you but it’s the truth. 

 

**Mila:** I mean you intimidated me for like maybe a few hours before we told you we’re dating 

**Mila:** but yeah, sorry Mickey you’re not exactly fear material 

 

**NotPewDiePie:** i hate to say it but I agree with them… sorry 

  
**Michele has left the group Ice Daddies**


	10. Return Of the  King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mila: Yuuri. Honey
> 
> Mila: you’re engaged
> 
>  
> 
> Katsumom: yes and I have no idea how it happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you understand the title ref then I love you. 
> 
>  
> 
> I have no idea what this chapter turned into but I hope u enjoy anyway
> 
>  
> 
> Something I forgot to add into my notes before was that some of the nicknames in this fic were actally taken from stxmph's fic skate squad. At the time I didn't realise that I'd taken them from someone else's fic, but when I realised I messaged Aiden and he's told me it's no problem as long as I credit him for the nicknames so that's what I'm doing.

**Katsumom:** okay so a weird thing just happened

 

**Bitchit:** do tell 

 

**Katsumom:** okay so me and Yuuko were just sat in this coffee shop talking about whatever 

 

**RussianTiger:** you’re still out?!

 

**Katsumom:** and this guy just comes and sits at our table and just goes “hey beautiful I haven’t seen you around here before”

**Katsumom:** and we’re used to people doing that every time Yuuko goes out without Takeshi so we just rolled our eyes and ignored him and just hoped he’d leave us alone

**Katsumom:** and he was clearly annoyed that we were ignoring him, and was just trying to get our attention the whole time he was sitting there 

**Katsumom:** in the end Yuuko just looked at him and told him that she’s married, and he just looked her up and down 

 

**Bitchit:** it was you he was interested in. Im right aren’t i?  

 

**Katsumom:** and said “You’re pretty cute too I guess, but I was actually talking to your friend here” and winked at me

 

**Bitchit:** I WAS RIGHT 

 

**Katsumom:** i tried to tell him that I’m not interested and that I’m taken, and in the end the only way we could get him to leave me alone was to pretend that it’s me that Yuuko is married to, and even then he seemed reluctant

**Katsumom:** and yes Yura I’m still out. We’ll be heading back soon though 

 

**Sherlock:** so why was that a weird thing? 

 

**Katsumom:** someone was interested in me...thats the weird thing 

 

**Mila:** Yuuri. Honey

**Mila:** you’re engaged 

 

**Katsumom:** yes and I have no idea how it happened

 

**Bitchit:** not this again 

 

**Mila:** what do you mean you have no idea how it happened? 

 

**Katsumom:** have you MET me? 

 

**Bitchit:** Im gonna stop you right there 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** ihthl’hhrihjwr3460=3 obehdh

 

**Mila:** you okay Viktor? 

 

**Katsumom:** Vitya? 

 

**RussianTiger:** I took his phone off him, the fight resulted in the keyboard smash

 

**Katsumom:** why’d you confiscate his phone?

 

**RussianTiger:** you were putting yourself down. I know what he’s like 

 

**Katsumom:** that’s fair

 

**Queen added King to the group “Ice Daddies”**

 

**King:** Ha HA I’m back 

 

**Mila:** isabella why?

 

**RussianTiger:** just when I though you were okay you do thios 

 

**Mila:** wow high praise from the kitten 

**Mila:** also thios 

 

**King:** Bella’s sleeping, I took her phone and added myself back

 

**RussianTiger:** go fuck yourself mila

 

**Mila:** gladly

**Mila:** hey sara wanna do a video call? ;) 

 

**RussianTiger:** EW 

 

**RussianTiger has kicked Mila and King from the group Ice Daddies**

 

**Queen has added King and Mila to the group Ice Daddies**

 

**RussianTiger has kicked Mila and King from the group Ice Daddies**

 

**Queen has added King and Mila to the group Ice Daddies**

 

**RussianTiger has kicked Mila and King from the group Ice Daddies**

 

**Queen has added King and Mila to the group Ice Daddies**

 

**Queen:** note to self: change passcode on your phone 

 

**Mila:** yeah your fiance’s birthday isn’t a good passcode 

 

**Katsumom:** its not? Damn 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** It isn’t? Shit 

 

**RussianTiger:** gross

 

**Bitchit:** can you guys stop being adorable for like 20 seconds? 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** no 

 

**Bitchit:** also Viktor when did you get your phone back? 

 

**Katsumom:** I got it off Yura when I came home and gave it back to him 

**Katsumom:** trust me, you all need to thank Yura cause when I came in I was ambushed by compliments, and if he’d have had his phone earlier he’d have sent them all here 

 

**Sherlock:** again with letting other people curse but yelling at others when we do it. This is favoritism I say! 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** deal with it. 

 

**Katsumom:** Vitya don’t be rude

 

**RaRaRasputin:** sorry love

 

**Katsumom:** dont apologise to me

 

**RaRaRasputin:** sorry Leo 

 

**Bitchit:** *whip noises* 

 

**RussianTiger:** the assholes been quiet for a while now...where’d he go? 

 

**Mila:** which asshole? Theres alot of them in this chat

 

**Sherlock:** thats fucking rude 

 

**Mila:** true though 

 

**Katsumom:** language

 

**Sherlock:** no fuck you you let the others swear 

 

**Bitchit:** Jesus Leo 

 

**Guang:** Leo what the hell 

 

**Sherlock:** sorry that was rude 

**Sherlock:** Im sorry mom 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** why is Yuuri just staring at their phone with wide eyes?

 

**Sherlock:** oh god I broke mom 

 

**Katsumom:** where did my sweet son go? 

**Katsumom:** you used to be such a nice boy Leo 

**Katsumom:** what happened to you? 

 

**Bitchit:** Guang Hong is a bad influence 

 

**Guang:** excuse you 

 

**Bitchit:** what its the truth 

 

**Guang:** i’ll fight u 

**Guang:** ill come to bangkok and kick ur ass

 

**Katsumom:** boys calm down 

 

**Bitchit:** sorry mom 

 

**Guang:** and you called viktor whipped 

**Guang:** damn 

 

**Bitchit:** how about you go fuck yourself? 

 

**Katsumom:** why must my children hurt me like this? 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** come here love, I'll make you feel better. 

 

**RussianTiger:** I want to die. 

 

**Bitchit:** #prayforYuri2k17

 

 

My cat decided to help me write this chapter.  Here is her input: 

  
**\\\\\\\oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~’**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments give me life as well as the motivation to continue this dumb fic
> 
> ♡


	11. Puma Tiger Scorpion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Georgi: all I’ve got from today so far is that the main purpose of this chat is to bully Yuri? Is that right?
> 
> Sherlock: basically
> 
> RaRaRasputin: pretty much
> 
> Bitchit: I mean it wasn’t ORIGINALLY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been SO LONG since I updated this fic and this chapter is so much shorter than normal and I'm so sorry! 
> 
> I've been busy writing another fic for the last few months, but I posted the last chapter of that earlier today so now I might be able to do some work on this one.
> 
> If you want to check out the other fic it's called Ho Paura Di Perderti just be warned it gets kinda sad .

**RussianTiger:** so when vikto said hed make yuuri feel better he just meant theyd have a fuckign cuddle pile with Makkachin 

**RussianTiger:** and Pyotya..the traitor

**RussianTiger:** look at this shit 

**[photo of Viktor and Yuuri cuddling, with Makkachin one side and Pyotya(Yuri’s cat) the other side all four seem to be asleep ]**

 

**Guang:** okay but that’s really cute 

 

 **Mila:** @Sara why arent we this cute?

 

**Sara:** cause we live in different countries and dont have a cute ass cat and dog 

 

**Guang:** Leo move to China so we can be this cute?

 

**Sherlock:**  why don’t you just move to the US full time? 

 

**Guang:** im 17 

**Guang:** im still a minor 

 

**Sherlock:** true 

 

**Guang:** course its true I said it

**Guang:** ;) 

 

**Sherlock:** smart ass 

 

**Guang:** you love me 

 

**Sherlock:** I do 

 

**Guang:** (´・ω・`)

 

**RussianTiger:** Im too aro for this shirt 

 

**RussianTiger has left the group Ice Daddies**

 

**Mila added Russiantiger to the group Ice Daddies**

 

**Mila:** shirt

 

**RussianTiger:** fuck off 

 

**King:** well someone seems happy 

 

**RussianTiger:** you can fuck off too 

 

**ChriSTOPhe:** does someone wanna join the cuddle pile? 

 

**russianTiger:** go fuck yourself 

 

**Beka:** hes jealous cause Pyotya is cuddlign them instead of him 

 

**RussianTiger:** SHUT UP BEKA 

**RussianTiger:** YOU DONT KNOW ANTHIGN

 

**Mila:** anythign 

 

**RussianTiger:** this is bullying. 

 

**Sherlock:** Mila you realise you mis-spelled Yuris typo right? 

 

**Mila:** SHIT

 

**RussianTiger:** HA

 

**Mila:** Hey Yura 

 

**RussianTiger:** oh no 

 

**Mila:** why dont you tell everyone waht Pyotya’s full name is? 

 

**RussianTiger:** Her name is Pyoyta. 

 

**Mila:** fine her ORIGINAL name

 

**RussianTiger:** nope 

 

**Mila:** come on Yura 

 

**RussianTiger:** I said no. 

 

**Mila has added Georgi to the group**

 

**Mila:**  help me im tryign to get Yura to tell everyone his cats name

 

**Sherlock:** tryign

 

**Mila:** shush. 

 

**Georgi:** what 

 

**Mila:** help me get Yura to tell us all the name of his cat

 

**Georgi:** I thought her name was Pyotya 

 

**Mila:** no her full name 

 

**RussianTiger:** Pyotya. 

 

**Mila:** ugh

**Mila:** fine her original name. 

 

**Georgi:** Pyotya wasnt her original name????

 

**RussianTiger:** yes. It was. 

 

**Mila:** well youre some help arent you?

 

**Bitchit:**  is anybody else confused? 

 

**Sherlock:** yes

 

**Guang:** i am 

 

**ChriSTOPhe:** yeah

 

**King:** I’ve no idea whats going on 

 

**Queen:** me either 

 

**RussianTiger:** Mila is harrassing me. That’s whats going on 

 

**Georgi:** doesn’t Mila always harrass youy? 

 

**Mila:** 1- Rude. 

**Mila:** 2- youy

 

**Bitchit:** i mean its true 

**Bithchit:** you’ve not been in this chat for long and all youve done is make fun of Yurio 

 

**Mila:** I never said it isnt true. still rude tho 

 

**RussianTiger:** stop calling me that jesus fuck

 

**Sherlock:** i mean dont we all jsut bully yurio?

 

**RussianTiger:** that isn’t my fuckign name 

 

**Mila:** jsut 

**Mila:** fuckign

 

**Bitchit:** we try to, but Yuuri always stops us

 

**Beka:** I think it’s just part of being the youngest. 

 

**RussianTiger:** i fuckign hate you Beka 

 

**Georgi:** wait…

**Georgi::** how long has this chat existed for?

 

**Mila:** I ahve no idea...I was only added a little while ago 

 

**Bitchit:** umm 

**Bitchit:** it’s been around for quite a while 

 

**RussianTiger:** you should be happy you werent here. Everyones an asshole. 

  
  


**Georgi:** who is actually in here? 

 

**Bitchit:** oh boy 

**Bitchit:** okay so I made the chat and added Yuuri, Viktor, Yurio, Leo, Guang Hong and Chris. 

**Bitchit:** then we added Seung-Gil and JJ but JJ got kicked out 

**Bitchit:** Then Seung-Gil left

 

**Sherlock:** you know you could just list who’s here right 

 

**Bitchit:** Then I added Sara and Otabek 

**Bitchit:** then Sara added Mila, Michele and Emil

**Bitchit:** then Mila added Isabella 

 

**Sherlock:** Phichit

 

**Bitchit:** then JJ added himself back on Isabella’s account 

**Bitchit:** then Mila added you and that’s it 

 

**Sherlock:** are you finished now? 

 

**Bitchit:** he asked! 

 

**Georgi:** okay so most of the skaters from this season are here then? 

 

**Bitchit:** yeah 

 

**Georgi:** fair enough 

**Georgi:** is it safe to ask who is who, or am I gonna get another essay? 

**Georgi:** Ive figured out who most people are, but there’s a couple I’m a bit….confused by. 

 

**Bitchit:** okay so Im Phichit

**Bitchit:** Guang is Guang hong 

 

**Sherlock:** Phichit you know we can introduce ourselves.

 

**Bitchit:** Mila is Mila 

 

**Sherlock:** no really? 

 

**Bitchit:** shut up

**Bitchit:** that’s Leo 

**Bitchit:** ChriSTOPhe is Chris 

**Bitchit:** rararasputin is viktor

**Bitchit:** Katsumom is Yuuri 

**Bitchit:** RussianTiger is Yurio 

 

**Sherlock:** Phichit we can introduce ourselves 

 

**King:** Im JJ and Queen is Bella, my fiance 

 

**Sara:** I imagine its pretty obvious who i am. And Mickey is obvious too 

 

**Bitchit:** NotPewDiePie is Emil 

  
  
  


**ChriSTOPhe:** okay but Mila you got distracted from your original task 

**ChriSTOPhe:** what was Yurio’s cat’s original name? 

 

**RussianTiger:** her name is and always has been Pyotya. 

 

**Mila:** that’s a lie and we both know it.

 

**RussianTiger:** shut up 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** wasn’t her name soemthing like Puma Tiger Scorpion? 

 

**RussianTiger:** NO 

 

**Mila:** yes

 

**Bitchit:** oh my god that’s hilarious 

 

**RussianTiger:** SHUT UP 

 

**Queen:** that’s adorable Yuri 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** I remember you were so proud of that name 

 

**Mila:** you thought it was so badass

 

**Queen:** how old were you?

 

**RaRaRasputin:** 8?

 

**Bitchit:** so last year then

 

**RussianTiger:** Viktor I’m gonna come and kick your ass

**RussianTiger:** and when I’ve done that I’m coming to Thailand to kick yours Chulanont. 

 

**Sherlock:** RIP Viktor 

 

**Georgi:** is this chat always liek this? 

 

**Sherlock:** basically..

 

**Katsumom:** why is Yuri trying to murder my fiance? 

 

**Queen:** read up 

 

**Katsumom:** okay 

 

**Bitchit:** oh hey you’re awake

 

**Katsumom:** yeah it’s difficult to sleep when an angry 15 year old is trying to murder the person you’re sleeping on. 

 

**Bitchit:** that’s fair enough

 

**Georgi:** all I’ve got from today so far is that the main purpose of this chat is to bully Yuri? Is that right? 

 

**Sherlock:** basically 

 

**RaRaRasputin:** pretty much 

 

**Bitchit:** I mean it wasn’t ORIGINALLY

 

**Beka:** basically yeah… 

 

**Bitchit:** but somewhere along the way that’s what it became 

 

**RussianTiger:** you can all go die in a hole

 

**Beka:** calm down Kotyonok 

 

**RussianTiger’s nickname was changed to “Puma Tiger Scorpion”**

 

**Puma Tiger Scorpion:** youre all dead to me. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Отъеби́сь- fuck off
> 
>  
> 
> any translations in this fic will more than likely be from google translate, please correct me if it's wrong
> 
>  
> 
> come scream with me at www.pork-cutlet-fatale.tumblr.com


End file.
